they asked Larry if he had any experience working
oh yes, Larry said
many odd jobs here and there
but mostly there
flipping burgers, cleaning toilets
Larry was a lawyer once for the duration of one case
defending himself in court
where he was charged with murder
Larry’s defence consisted only of his explanation
as to why he had committed the murder
telling the judge about the great tragedy
of the clown who told jokes
Larry didn’t consider funny enough

for a while Larry prostituted himself
to both men and women
and everyone else outside or in between
Larry gave himself away to anyway that paid
alternating his own sex for different people
showing them his many different faces
he didn’t care who he fucked
not really
though Larry usually murdered the ones he didn’t like
but always only after the fucking
like a praying mantis or black widow spider
after the deed Larry consumed them

they asked him if he ever worked a job like this before (in the office)
Larry thought about this
he didn’t remember ever doing that before
they asked him to tell them his strong points
Larry thought a while about those
he told them he could dream while actually being awake
they didn’t consider this worthy of much
Larry didn’t know anything else
so they asked him why he chose this job
and what it was that he liked about it
and how he perceived his future there
and what he wanted to achieve
and how he wanted to develop himself
and what skills he had and which ones he wanted to improve upon
and if he thought himself a good employee

Larry got annoyed with all their pointless unnecessary questions
he yawned and told them he didn’t actually want to work there
who would?
he just wanted to try, to see what some people did for money
nobody likes wasting their time in an office watching screens
busy with nothing much while making other people rich

they hired him
Larry immediately got stressed by the things he had to do
and excessively drank during his first shift
because of this they fired him
Larry didn’t care
he called in a bomb threat and had the whole building evacuated
sorry suits outside in the rain pouring down on them
astonished to see an actual explosion
thinking it had been a regular exercise
this event actually gave joy to some of them
finally released
freed from the repetition of boring routines
at least for a while

that night he visited all employees in their dreams
and Larry turned them into nightmares
he haunted everyone but the managers specifically
Larry made them live an entire life alone
counting an endless pile of rice
in a room with empty walls and without windows
lit by a sharp-yellow fluorescent light
there was one door leading to a guillotine
they all killed themselves eventually
waking up terrified